Back in the saddle

They say that if you get bucked off a horse you should get right back on. Well, I'm getting back on, but it has been a few months. And guess what, the saddle is not very comfortable right now, and I was a stupid head and decided to go all in. I rode all the way to church and back.
I just have one question.
When did they vote to move the church twelve miles the other side of town? That must have been one of the business meetings I skipped out on missed.
And my butt hurts.
And I'm dehydrated, hopped up on carbs and sugar, and guess what else.
I started my period today, too.
What better place to start, right?
Turns out I'm a one trick pony. It's the same old song and dance. I think my family and friends are probably tired of hearing the same old song, but what am I going to do?
I live to entertain.
I'll hop back on the scales in the morning, but I already think I know what it will say. Not two steps forward, one step back for me. I do it the opposite. One step forward, two steps back. Won't be surprised to see if I've gained back more than I lost.
When I got home, my darling daughter met me at the door with a glass of ice water and a swiss cake roll. I've trained her well. Okay, my dear, get on board. Can't have those any more.
So after I collapsed on the bed to cry like a baby catch my breath, I accepted the water, and asked for some turkey lunch meat.
So here we go again.
Second verse same as the first.